The Third Times a Charm

I should have been exercising to the new exercise DVD I bought.

But, I'm not.

Instead, I've spent the last 2 hours reading back over my past blog entries. I cried a little, laughed a little and realized just how bad my memory really has become (I had forgotten about many of the things that I had written about).

This weekend I went to Time Out For Women in Orlando. It was such an amazing, testimony building experience for me. (As an aside, if any of you ever have an opportunity to attend one, I highly recommend it...Soooo good). But that is not the reason for this post, and perhaps I will post about that, but I really need to have time to get my thoughts in order.

However, during that trip, I made a comment that I wished my life could be full of more spiritually uplifting stories, like those of the presenters.

I said that I never have them.

But guess what?? I was wrong.

As I looked back at my blog entries, I realized that my life has been full of spiritual experiences, and that I have probably have had a lot more, but I have neglected writing them down, so they have been forgotten.

How sad.

Is it vain or prideful to say that I LOVED reading back at my post? Not only did I have fun remembering the events I read about, it reminded me of a few things:
1)the more I wrote, those many months ago, that it became easier to do so. I'm afraid not, it is going to be a difficult task to get back into like trudging through snow that is no longer powdery, but slushy and stiff.
2)not only did it become easier, but I could see how my writing became better as well. I am afraid that my grammar has fallen behind again, and ideas don't flow as easy either.

Then, I got sad. Why have I let the blog world go by the wayside? Laziness? To some degree. Facebooking....yes, that is it.

My family has been begging me to get back into blogging, as well as a few friends. That's really what led me back here, to my old friend. Yes, blogging is my friend. I use to come here to relieve stress. Really, I did.

So here I am. Reading and now typing...

and, I've realized, after reading back, that I have been holding myself back. That perhaps writing is a talent I may have, but how can I know, or develop it for that matter, if I never do it.
So, I am committing myself to try to write at least weekly.

I don't think anyone is reading anymore, and that doesn't matter. So it's truly just for me and my posterity. This is the third time I've committed to getting back into blogging...I'm really hoping the third time is a charm! I guess we (or I) will see.

Cruel Intentions

Yes, definitely.

Although that's not what "they" say. Who are they? The mass retail chains in the U.S.

And what are "they" talking about?

ClOtHiNg SiZe LaBeLs!!!!

Here is a little excerpt from an article "As nation gains, 'overweight' is Relative" I read on CNN.com about America's weight problem.

That's why, in recent years, as the American population has become
generally more overweight, brands from the luxury names to the mass retail
chains have scaled down the size labels on their clothing.
"You may actually be a size 14 and, according to whatever particular store you're in, you come out a size 10," said Natalie Nixon, associate professor of fashion industry
management at Philadelphia University. "It's definitely to make the consumer
feel good."

Feel GOOD???? Are "THEY" CRAZY????

Yes, I think "THEY" ARE!

That is so CRUEL.

I have been obsessed with my weight since college. For the first time I will admit that I have been known to weigh myself several times a day. I will even "trick" myself into thinking I am heavier by moving the scale up 10lbs (okay, I never said I was sane and no I'm not bulimic or anorexic--trust me on that one).

Do "they" have any idea what this has done to me? Do they really?

I always liked the fact that I could go and put on a size 8 or even 6 pant and think, "Okay, I'm fine with that".

But now, am I really???

NO, because now I'm thinking...that's really a 12 or a 10! What trickery. Just to make me "feel good".

SURE, RIGHT.

I'm BUYING IT. And "they" are happy aren't "they" because really that's what "they" want---"me to BUY it". They don't care if I "feel good". Marketing was my minor in college. The real story here is that consumers will try on a pair of pants and think, "WOW, these are an 8". I've never been an 8, maybe I'll buy another pair."

Stop the insanity! If you want me to really feel good, don't let me think I'm skinnier than I really am. That will just make it worse for me and my health. Instead of thinking I need to exercise. I'm gonna tell myself, "You're fine. You still fit in that size 8".

DECEIT. LIES. CRUELTY. Well, guess what? I'm not buying it! So, thanks, but no thanks! It's a cruel, cruel world.


***Before you go and think you need to call my husband, R.S. President, bishop, a shrink, or start praying for me (well scratch the last one, I could always use prayers) on my behalf, don't worry, this was a little tongue in cheek, but I do think it is a disservice to the American public.

So, This is What IT Feels Like

To go stir crazy!

Help me! I think I'm losing it.

For the past week, we have been home bound due to and illness Ariel has been trying to fight off.

What is this illness? A virus that turned into bronchitis!

It all began last Wednesday, apparently. She had started coughing really bad, but I did not think much of it b/c the day before we were swimming at a friends house and I thought perhaps the cough came from that (You know what I mean, right? Sometimes after a LONG day of swimming the congestion sets it...or does that only happen to us?).

Anyway, on Thursday, we went to the beach (SURPRISE,SURPRISE, I still did not have my camera). Ariel seemed find except for that horrible cough. She told me she thought it was her sinus'
(she has ALWAYS had problems with them).

So, I ignored it (I know BAD mom).

However, I could not ignore it for long. My friends noticed Ariel being quiet and keeping to herself and asked what was wrong (if you know Ariel, she is RARELY quiet, or alone---that girl loves to be in the center of activity). So, I was like, that is weird.

I asked her is she was okay and she said she was fine.

Well, not for long. She comes up and tells me she is FREEZING COLD! It was probably over 100 degrees out that day with the heat index. Then she said her throat hurt. Ugggh...

So we left. She started running a fever. Great! We still had a friend with us who spent the night.

When we got home. I rushed the friend to get her stuff together (didn't want to infect anyone else, plus I needed to get Ariel to BED).

I called the doctor and they were booked for the day, and I thought she could wait to be seen by the doctor the next day instead of after hours.

Plus, we had just been in to see the doctor 3 days prior for a rash (never change laundry detergents when you have family members with sensitive skin).

Well, when we went in Friday morning. The doctor checked her for strep and also drew some blood to check her iron (she had been feeling faint etc. and the doctor thought perhaps she could be anemic.)

NO strep. Just a virus. But she needed to stay away from people as long as she had a fever.

We were suppose to go to Mike's mom for the 4th. Not happening. Poor Ariel. She wanted to go so bad. She tried to pretend to feel better, but the 102+ temp was not allowing for that!

The fever subsided, but jumped back up on Sunday night. I watched her on Monday and Tuesday--thinking it was just the virus, but the cough was not better, and the fever spiked back up to 102.

So back to the doctor for the third time that week (so grateful, we have a great insurance with only a $10 copay). Anyway, that's how we found out she had bronchitis. Her lungs sounded horrible. They gave her a breathing treatment in the office. Then sent us home with an inhaler and a "Z-pack" prescription.

I think it's working. Fever has subsided. Still a cough, but the doctor said that would be normal until she gets all of that stuff out of her lungs.

Should be able to get out an about by the weekend.

Poor Ariel.

The good thing is, she has finished 2 of the 3 books for summer reading (BTW, she liked both of the books) and half of her math packet. I guess that's what you turn to when boredom sets in. lol

So much for making a story short. Wish I could blame it on being stir crazy and not being able to be out in the world, but I can't. I'm long winded in all facets of life. Don't worry though, it's not contagious. :)

So Much Going On

but so little time to blog. Not much to blog about. No pictures...

Well, not really.

Hello, fellow bloggers in the great WWW! I've missed you. Thanks, Coty for your sweet words and to Mike's co-workers who have been asking about me. I'm here.

I've been lazy, as you can tell. I haven't blogged in a while. I guess I have been bitten by the Facebook bug. It's not that I like it better than blogging because really I don't. Blogging is much better; it just takes more effort (and a bit more time, but not really...I'm really being lazy).

Facebook is Andrea Tobias Odom is.....and I just fill in the blank for today.

See what I mean? Not much effort at all. One thing that I thought was odd at first was that I always wrote in 3rd person about myself, but I think I've overcome that. Let's see, here have a look at some of my FB status lines to get a look into my life lately:

• Andrea Tobias Odom is happy for the little rain we got and I think the grass and garden were even happier to have the natural water from God. :)
• Andrea Tobias Odom is really sad that Michael Jackson is gone. His music was BIG part of my younger years. sniff, sniff.

Okay, let me go off on a little tangent, that I'm so well known for, on the FB status above. I know, Michael Jackson went more than "off the deep end" in the past decade or so. I did not like any of that (and you know what all the "that" is). But it still doesn't take away, that Thriller was the first album that I owed. That I loved singing his music with my sister at the top of my lungs and "trying" to dance the moonwalk, and all the other dance moves that he so effortlessly created. Many childhood memories encompass the music that he put forth. So, "Say, Say, Say what you want", but there is a little sadness in my heart for MJ. Not because of what he was in the latter part of his life, but for the wasted talent, and for the "good memories" that his music provided for me in a not always so "good life." End of tangent.

• Andrea Tobias Odom had fun with the YW and my girls at AJM community night tonight. Be Your Best Self!

Yes, you read that right, the YW. For those of you who do not know, I was called to be the YW President for our ward back in May. I love YW and have served in there many times, including the Stake YW, but never as President. I guess the Lord is trying to teach me to be the leader that he tells me I am, but in reality I'd prefer to be the Indian instead of the chief. Seriously... The interesting thing about all that is the Bishop told me that he and his counselors were inspired to call me after I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting. I almost did not bear my testimony that day, and waited close to the end. Then, I bore my testimony again in June. After sacrament meeting, I was asked to give a talk two weeks later. Moral of the story....no more bearing my testimony. Just kidding! lol

• Andrea Tobias Odom is wishing it would rain. My poor yard is craving more than the sips of water we have been giving it every evening.

So true, until today, it has not rained for about a month (at least). We have been having to water our poor grass and garden daily with the hose. The grass was so dry that you could hear that crunching sound when you walked on it (which we rarely do b/c we have the sidewalk). Plus, the brown spots are horrible on that once bright green grass. But, I'm happy and grateful to have a house with brown grass because many people don't have that.

• Andrea Tobias Odom is going to save a life, or two, or maybe even three in a few minutes. Going to give blood at the Red Cross. :)

Many of the people who commented on this post were talking about how wonderful and awesome I am--that I'm a good woman for giving blood. I really felt weird about all that because in reality, I'm not. I have not given blood in over a year, and faithfully, the Red Cross Volunteers call me sometimes twice a month begging me to give blood. I got so guilty for not giving, that can you believe, when I saw their number pop up on Caller ID, I would yell to my kids, "DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE, IT'S THE RED CROSS." Now I'm thinking, "GREAT, not only am I not willing to help save a life, but my guilt of the fact is putting fear of the RED CROSS in my dear children. Yup, they are definitely going to need therapy. BUT, I keep telling myself that I have legit reasons for not wanting giving blood:

1. My iron has been low several times when I have tried to give blood that they turn me away, and
2. The last two times I gave, I got really sick after. So much, that I had to go to the doctor. I think it was because my iron was low.

But...this time, I felt more guilt than usual (plus, I thought it might not hurt to have my blood checked again for free--the hypochondriac that I am. lol) so I answered the phone even with the girls yelling back at me, "BUT IT'S THE RED CROSS, MOM!" So, I actually set up an appointment to give blood.

They told me they have missed me. Like we are old friends.

I told them why I haven't been coming around as much. I gave them the "it's me, not you" kind of answer.

The volunteer told me to drink a glass of OJ before I come and I should feel better. Who knew?

I told them I'd have to bring my kids. They said, "No problem." Guess they really are desperate. Who can say no to someone willing to watch your kids while they are drawing blood out of your arm and taking the chance that you may pass out and not recover. J/k. :)

So, I went. However, they did have to prick my finger and check my blood TWICE. First time, iron was too low (12.1--you have to be a 12.5 for the Red Cross to take your blood). Thought to myself, "Yup, well, at least I tried, and I prepared myself for the "You are still a hero for trying speech."

But no, they told me to hold this hot pack in my other hand and that they would have someone else come in and check it again by pricking that hand. OKAY... they really are desperate.

Low and behold, when they pricked the other finger it was 13.5. So, I got to help at least one person that day, even if guilt was the underlying factor for doing so. Service is service, right?

• Andrea Tobias Odom is hoping we will get another great neighbor to move in next door to us. Anyone looking for a great house in a great neighborhood? It is brick (over 2,000sq ft.)---, has a built in pool, BIG fenced backyard and a detached mother in law suite that is an approximately an additional 1,200 sq feet. Let me know. The thought of unknown neighbors scares me a little. :)
• Andrea Tobias Odom is HAPPY, even when cleaning a messy house b/c at least I have a messy house to clean. :)
• I'm still HAPPY. Yesterday, in my talk at church I used a quote by Marvin J. Ashton. He said, "Being of good cheer builds contagious enthusiasm." So what are you HAPPY about?

All the "HAPPY"ness from above came about from the above mentioned talk that I was given on D&C 68:6. Preparing for that talk really has given me a new prospective to try to be better about choosing to "be of good cheer".

That talk really gave me a new prospective on AGENCY and using it wisely, as well as strengthening my testimony of the fact that when we truly recognize the hand of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in our life, we can overcome all things.

They are there for us. They want us to succeed.

With them we can not fail. We can't.

Isn't that all the reason in the world to be HAPPY? I think so!

• Andrea Tobias Odom says: Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. You really do make a great difference. I'm so happy my girls have a daddy that loves them, plays with them, counsels them and takes care of them. What a blessing!
• Andrea Tobias Odom forgot to make cookies for the dads at church tomorrow. Gotta go bake some cookies. Ahhh.. (It was almost midnight. I did not finish the cookies until about 1am--YIKES!)
• Andrea Tobias Odom : To my sweet husband and all the other wonderful fathers out there who strive everyday to take care of and love their families through good times and hard: Happy Father's Day Weekend. :)

I wrote this status line after watching "A Father Indeed" on Mormon Messages. Oh, man that brought tears to my eyes. If you have not seen it, click on the link and watch it. Really good, but trust me, you'll need tissues.

• Andrea Tobias Odom had some fun in the sun today at the beach with friends. Could life be any better?

We went to Gulf Shores. It was such a fabulous way to spend a REALLY HOT day (It has been over 100 degrees nearly everyday. Today, we did get some relief). The breeze coming off of the gulf was awesome. So much fun. A lot of great memories, but in true fashion of me...NO PICTURES! My friends got some though. lol

• Andrea Tobias Odom hates shopping for a swimsuit! I wish I could design and sew my own. Bathing suits are horrible!

Okay, in all fairness, this could be a complete blog post in itself, and maybe it will be. This comment I posted after sums it all up. "I really hate the swimsuits. I mean, my body could use a little help too, I'm sure, but there is really very little to chose from that is cute and modest and not going to break the bank at the same time."

• Andrea Tobias Odom loves CHILDREN'S LITERATURE!

What can I say about this except that it is true. Oh, how I love it. From picture books like Good Night Moon and The Giving Tree to YA literature like Belle Prater's Boy, Fever 1793, Tuck Everlasting, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, and Out of the Dust (all books my sweet and smart girl Ariel has urged me to read, and I'm so glad I did. AWESOME).

• Andrea Tobias Odom is loving that the our garden is starting to produce some fresh vegetables. YAY. Growing a garden has helped me to better recognize the "everyday" miracles that surround us.

All I can say about this is YUM, and the lessons learned from gardening are so wonderful. I have learned that tomatoes don't need nearly as much water as cucumbers, that patience and hard work lead to great things.

• Andrea Tobias Odom is is up early to get Ariel ready for Pirate Camp!

No, not what you are thinking. No swashbucklers involved in this camp. It is a camp that is offered at the Magnet Middle School Ariel got accepted into (don't remind me, my baby is entering Middle school. Sniff. Sniff). It is two days and they get to switch classes, learn a little of what is expected of them, go to P.E. , learn about policies and procedures, practice opening lockers, and receiving HOMEWORK to be completed by the first day of school! Yes, homework which will be graded.

Phillips is a magnet school in which your name is selected from a "lottery" for acceptance. Not grades, not if your gifted, just the luck of the draw. We applied, and were happy for Ariel's name to be selected. Although, Mike calls the school a Nazi camp because their policies are VERY strict, they have A LOT of homework and even skip 6th grade math an go straight to 7th grade math. It will probably be a challenge for Ariel, but I know she can do it. She is very smart. I worry though, that she will not conform to the rules. She is not a conformist and likes to do things her way, but we will see. When she found out that if you don't do your math homework EXACTLY the way you are told, you will get a zero; she got mad and said, "That's not right. We live in a democratic society." lol.

Well, I could keep going on, and on with these FB status quotes, but I'll save you. Heck, I probably lost you at HELLO! lol

But, if you are still here, I guess things have been going on in my "non-productive" life. My biggest thing is that my girls are really getting older, and it makes me sad but happy too (crazy, I know). Ariel had her 50's day at school (which I can post a few pictures of) and Honors Day. We are very blessed that the Lord has given her a GREAT mind. She received Honors in all of her subject areas except math (even though she made A's--they take the top 4 letter grade in each class). So we are happy for her. She LOVED E.R. Dickson. It was such a blessing for her. She actually cried on the last day of school because her teacher, Mr. Baker, pulled her aside and told her what a great student she was and that he would miss her. She has had some great teachers! The slide show that was put together for the kids since kindergarten brings me to tears still! I can't believe how much my "little girl" has grown. Plus, Ariel got accepted into the Mobile Strings Academy this year. She plays violin. Still debating if she want to go back next year, since Phillips is more rigorous and she is going to play the flute in the band. If not, we are going to make her practice to try to keep it up as much as she can.

Cecily has jumped leaps and bounds in reading this year thanks to her teacher, Mrs. Burden. We love her and are going to miss her so much! Plus, we received exciting news that Cecily got accepted into the gifted program (PACE). Even more impressive is the fact that she scored REALLY high on her test. The PACE teacher said, maybe as high as Ariel (but, we'd have to go back and check the scores on that one). Cecily is also really doing great at her piano lessons. She has almost tackled, "How Firm a Foundation" thanks to her great teacher, Philip Jones.

I do really miss blogging. When I was blogging, I think my mind was a little sharper and my writing definitely got better. Plus, the fabulous friends I have made in the blogging world can't be beat.

So here I am. Trying to get back in the blogging groove (again), and give myself a little FB intervention (trust me, it can be a little addictive, especially when you get in touch with friends you have not seen in 15+ years.

And I said, I had nothing to blog about....Yeah, right! I hope this fits on one page. lol

The next one will be shorter. Promise. :)

Create

If you have not been to the lds.org site lately, you are really missing out on a lot.

Here is a favorite treasure in our family that we just came upon (when you click on this link you will go to lds. org and you will see the video that says create. I would have downloaded on here, but I don't know how) . It is a video that has been made from President Uchtdorf's October 2008 talk given at the General R.S. Broadcast titled Happiness, Your Heritage .

Enjoy it. Like I said, my girls and I have watched it several times and have not tired from it. A great message on who we are as daughters of God and our ability to make the world better. Such a great message of hope. Funny, each of us get a different message from the video. :)

It Truly Is GREAT To Be 8!

This is one of my favorite pictures of her baptism. Cecily and Dylan Parkes (another great buddy of Cecily's) looking into the font filled with water before the baptism starts)

Our little baby is no longer a baby.

Sniff, sniff again. (I've been doing that a lot lately).

Cecily turned 8 last Thursday and on that same day at 6:30pm, she was baptized.

She was so very excited about it all (as were all of us). When she woke up that morning, all she wanted to talk about was that that night she was going to be baptized. So very sweet.

It was a wonderful night. Sis. Emmertson played the piano with Ann Jordan leading the music. Payton Emmertson and Kendal Ottinger gave the prayers.

Here is Cecily with Payton. Payton and Cecily have been pals since babies, and they both go to the same school. Payton is such a sweet girl and a great example. She played such a sweet part in Cecily's baptism. When Payton was baptized, Cecily gave the closing prayer. Cecily knew from that moment on when her baptism happened she would have Payton give a prayer.

****We don't have a picture of Cecily and Kendal (from this point on, Mike was in charge of the camera. LOL)

Her Aunt Carolyn (on the left) gave the talk on Baptism, Lisanka Parkes (on the right) gave the talk on the Holy Ghost. Posing with Cecily. Cecily especially loved that both talks came with some extra special goodies. :)

We were blessed to have many of our family and friends present and two of Cecily's teachers, Mrs. Payne (her kindergarten teacher) and Mrs. Burden (her current teacher) both came out to support her on her big day.

I actually took this picture of Cecily, and her teacher Mrs. Burden before the baptism. Mrs. Burden has been such a wonderful blessing in our life this year, and we are so happy she came out to support Cecily on her big day. Cecily loves her and we will miss not having her next year!

***I know I asked Mike or someone to take a picture of Cecily with Mrs. Payne, but not sure if that happened. :)

Even Oma drove down from Meridian for the special occassion (not sure why Mike got a picture of him and Lee with his mom and not Cecily and Oma...oh well, we got more pictures with Cecily's baptism than with Ariel's for sure. lol)

Mike of course baptized her and confirmed her a member of the church and also did the confirmation of the Holy Ghost. I loved listening to the sweet prayer that went along with it.

Those who stood in the circle during the confirmation.

From L to R: Marc Ottinger, Jason Jordan, Michel Odom, Lee Odom,

Charlie Madison, John Bedwell and of course Cecily is up front.

The table with some of her favorite things. We had the guest sign around the mat of the picture frame, and we will put a picture of her in it so she can hang the picture in her room to help her remember that special day and those who were present.

...and we had to have a cake, which Cecily decided upon by herself. Chocolate is under all that frosting. We served water bottles and Capri Sun with it. I know that punch is nicer, but this was so much more kid friendly and so much easier for clean up too.

A very special night for a very special girl. She has blessed our lives for 8 wonderful years and we are so happy to have her in our family. Now that Ariel and Cecily are both baptized, we are now waiting for that special day in 4 short years were we can all be in the Temple together as a family. I can't wait for that special day...for I know that too will be GREAT!

It's all part of growing up

or so they say.

Shaving. Ariel began shaving at 9 1/2. Against my better judgment.

So how did she start doing something as grown up as shaving her legs at that age?

Easy...she asked her dad (she knew I would have said NO). I love him, but that silly man said he thought it would be okay. It wasn't hurting anything and they were her legs.

All I can say is silly man. We started off trying things like Veet. However, with Ariel's sensitive skin it was a DEFINITE no go. So I told her let's just wait till she's a little older.

Nope. Nada. No such luck. She wanted to rid herself of all that hair that was causing her so much grief.

So 1 1/2 years later Ariel often has razor burned legs. I warned her that once she started, she would not be able to stop and she would HATE it. Did she believe me?

Nope. Nada. No such luck.

Just this past week, she begs me to help her shave her legs. I tell her no. She was the one that wanted to start shaving.

However, I ended up caving in and helping her out when I saw how bad her legs were looking. I have shown her and told her a million times that she does not have to press down really hard. So, I end up helping her. ugghhh.

"How did this happen?" I ask myself. "I hate shaving my own legs and now I have to help my 11 year old daughter so that she doesn't end up hacking her legs to pieces.

Silly man...I wonder if we had had a son, Mike would have let him start shaving his face at 9?

Probably not. Silly, silly man.

I hate this growing up stuff. sniff, sniff.

NO REGRETS!

I've never quite understood the above phrase. I mean, I've heard people say it a lot through my life and I know WHAT it means, I just don't understand how someone can actually say they have "NO REGRETS".

I guess perhaps it is because a little part of me wonders what that would be like. As I sit here pondering back over my 35 years of life, I wish those words could cross my lips or even be typed here on this keyboard in relation to my life.

I'm not saying there has been no good in my life, because clearly there has BEEN, much more good than bad, and even the bad things that have occurred I'm not sure that I would change because undoubtedly they have helped shaped the person I have become (well, and even thinking back on that, perhaps I would change the bad qualities about myself if I could).

Perhaps those individuals who can look back on their life and say the phrase, "No Regrets" believe that focusing on regrets or things that could have been and never were are a waste of time for they can't change what has happened in the past. Perhaps they believe it to be best to live in the moment. Perhaps...

I mean I get it, I really do, if that is their reasoning, but I still can't help but wonder what that feels like--to have a life of no regrets. To not have one thing-- that if you could take it back, you would. I don't know what THAT feels like.

I do know, that I do wish I could say I have lived a life of NO REGRETS. But if I'm honest with myself, I can't.

My first memory of regret, that has never left me, even after all these years, happened at the rare age of 7. I remember all the neighborhood kids playing outside one day and one little boy, who no one ever wanted to play with-- Kevin. He had blond hair. He was a cute boy (from what I recall), he was just younger and he TATTLED a lot. One day in particular has never left my head. We were all playing and it began to storm really bad and we all ran into a screened in patio, except for Kevin. We (the group of neighborhood kids) locked him out in the rain and left him there crying begging us to let him in, but we didn't. We were so mean. Oh, I knew it was wrong, but I never went to let him in either. I let him run home in that storm where luckily he made it back safely.

The biggest part of that regret is that that day, I was a bully--luckily I don't remember ever being a bully at any other time in my life, perhaps it was because little did I know, that less than one year later, my life would have me in a different part of the country and I would be the little girl no one wanted to play with running in a bush crying my eyes out. Karma.

Maybe to some, it seems crazy for me to have an ache in my heart over that for all these years. A regret that can't be changed or taken back, but a regret none the less. What if I had had the courage to open that screen door? Does Kevin ever think back on that event in life, as much as I do? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I don't know. But if I could change it, I would.

That is just one regret. I have others.

I regret... not being kinder to my parents as a teenager, more respectful---especially to my step father whom I acknowledge as my dad. He married my mom when my sister and I were 10. We were brats with a lot of baggage, but when he married my mom, our lives changed for the BETTER. No we were not rich, far from it. However, for once we had some stability in our lives, he had love for us, he taught us values and manners (and how to write a thank you note) but most of all, he gave us hope for a better future and often times what I gave back was disrespect. I know, many say that's how most teenagers behave, but I regret it. At the time, I did not realize the difference he made in my life, not fully and don't think I really did until I was older--after he had passed away. Another regret---not telling him thank you while he was here. Also, I wish I understood that my mom was just being overprotective because she did not want my sister and I to make the same mistakes in life that she had made. Thankfully, I have been able to thank her.

I regret... not being the kind of sister my twin was to me, as a young child, when she needed me the most.

I regret... some of the words I have spoken to others (my husband, my children, my friends and yes, even strangers). I have sadly learned words are sharp and cut deep and often leave a scar that stays for ever.

I regret... being a follower--falling to peer pressure--- instead of a leader.

I regret...caring too much about what people think---caring too much as to whether someone liked me, and forgetting that the one I should be pleasing the most is Heavenly Father. So much wasted time spent on worrying on what someone said, or was saying about me. Thankfully, I now have the confidence to realize they are the one with the problem.

I regret...not having complete confidence and sometimes when I say too much about myself to others. Will I regret posting this post on regrets?

I regret...dictating my life towards others when I was young because I thought it would bring me friends--something I desired. However, it held me back.

I regret...changing my degree from History to Communication Arts. I wanted to be a history teacher, and even thought about law school.

Amid all those regrets, I would regret if I did not recognize that there are tons of JOYS, and things I will NEVER regret---My membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and all the blessings it has brought to my life, marrying my husband, having children and my family, having true friends are just a few. Thankfully, I have a lot more joys than regrets.

The thing about regrets is that they can make one stop and reflect as to how she can make better choices in the future. How can I be a better daughter, a better wife, a better mother and a better friend today.

I also recognize oddly enough that some of my regrets in life have made my joys possible, so maybe that's what people mean when they say, "No Regrets?

Again, Perhaps. I'm not sure.

But, maybe, just maybe me sharing some of my regrets can help someone else live a life of "NO REGRETS". Is that possible? I hope so.