It's Never Too Early To Be Prepared...

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN TO READ...
(It's not horrible, there are just some rules for dating being posted)

Today,as I was reading over all the blogs that I enjoy, I found myself clicking on the Nesting Place, which I found from Liberty's blog. I love this blog. It has a lot of decorating ideas and since I have ABSOLUTELY NO talent for decorating, I like to check out this site for some ideas in hopes it can help.
Today, when I went to her site, I noticed she was having this neat thing called a blog party where everyone was to leave a link on her blog to their blog. The rule was to post anything that fits the line "Doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful ." Well, this aroused my curiosity. I wanted to see how other people decorated their homes. Can I just say, there were some really cute rooms, but there were also some not so cute and very messy rooms too (this made me feel a lot better about myself). A few blogs were not even about decorating, but things some women have learned to love about their imperfect selves. One of the blogs that I clicked on to see was at the following blog site: http://theresafishinthetoothbrushholder.blogspot.com/. Doesn't the blog name alone create some sense of curiosity?
Her room that she was featuring is a room they are renovating. Actually, I kind of just skimmed over her blog. IT WAS WHAT I READ AFTER THAT WHICH CAUGHT MY EYE. Unlike the other blogs I had clicked on, I saw something that made me want to read past the blog party post. So what was it that I saw? Let me just preface by writing that it caught my attention being a mom of two daughters. Here is what I read:

Dating My Daughters Part 2....
Brian's rules for dating his daughters....

Andrea here, Being the nosey "peepster" that I have become, I decided to take a peek and read more. This is what I read:

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
2. You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, an I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is : "early".
6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car?
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic theme are to be avoided. Movies with chain saws are okay. Hockey games are ok. Old folks homes are better.
9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing , merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

The blogger added this (I'm assuming maybe it is the mom)
It appears that they will never be leaving home....sigh.....

Andrea again: Let me just say, I was laughing hysterically. But at the same time, I was like, "with a little bit of tweaking, this would be perfect for Mike to use for his rules for dating his daughters"---when that time comes (which will be a long, long time away). After all, we do have two girls who will one day want to date (however, not until 16 will this occur, and they both already know that anything beyond group dates will be well into college---really we have this rule). Well, then I saw something else that kept me reading on the blog. It was this:

Dating My Daughters Part 1....
Brian's application for dating his daughters....

Name:

Date of Birth:

Height:

Weight:

IQ:

GPA:

Social Security #:

Drivers License:

Boy Scout Rank and Badges:

Home Address:

Do you have parents? yes or no

Is one male and the other female? yes or no

If no, explain:

Number of years they have been married:

If less than your age, explain:

Accessories

Do you own or have access to a van? yes or no

A truck with over sized tires? yes or no

A water bed? yes or no

A pickup with a mattress in the back? yes or no

A tattoo? yes or no

Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? yes or no

If you answered yes to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I suggest running.

Essay

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "DON"T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

References

Church you attend?

How often do you attend?

When would be the best time to interview your:

father?

mother?

pastor?

Short answer

If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be:

A woman's place is in the:

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

What is the current going rate of a hotel room?

I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, Native American ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, red hot pokers, and Hillary Clinton kiss torture.

Applicant's signature (that's you moron)

Mother's signature

Father's signature

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi:

State Representative/Congressman:

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

It's me again: Again, loved it, maybe needs a little tweaking, but for the most part, I think any boy that was taking out our daughters would get the point. Don't you??? As soon as I was done reading, I copied and pasted it into a word document and saved it. Then I forwarded it in an email to Mike. Then I called him to make sure he got it. Mike said yeah, with a little tweaking (like how are you planning for your mission, are you attending seminary, how often do you read your scriptures etc. ) it would be perfect. Do you think the girls will like it when they become teenagers???LOL. Oh well, who cares, right?

So to whomever Brian is, thanks for the great post. I'm a firm believer in not recreating the wheel when it's already been built. I also realized that maybe I should "peep" in on strangers blogs more often. You never know what one could learn. Again, it's never too early to be prepared, right?